Why We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

I remembered receiving an urgent call from a dear friend. He was sobbing on the phone as he told me about how he was treated by his partner. For the two and a half years they were together, his partner would get angry at him for the smallest things, blamed him for things he never did, called him selfish when my friend wouldn’t give him the attention he wanted.

It was all too familiar to me. The same scenarios with my ex-husband played in my head and I couldn’t believe it was also happening to my friend. He is smart, young and accomplished, shouldn’t he know better?

Why It Doesn’t Always Have to Be About A Man

“Was it always about a man?”

It was a question my cousin asked me during our heart-to-heart conversation a month after I left my ex-husband. I was telling her about the sad state I was in, why men were all the same and why my relationships didn’t work.


The question stuck to me like glue. I carried it everywhere I go and no matter how much I tried to shake it off, the question lingered. I knew I didn’t need to have an answer, so I dug a hole inside and buried it deep, hoping it would go away.

A few months after the break-up, I thought I was doing perfectly fine. I felt like I was coping well with the changes. I became more open and confident with other people. It was all positive and things were starting to look good. Because of this, I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I start dating again. Surely, building friendship with men at that point wouldn’t be so bad.

So, I did.